HEART : How are you today is how you was before

I can't describe what I feel right now. My best friend is slowly drifting apart from me. I won't get a best friend like her. I promise. The fact that i'm in a relationship really affect the people around me. I wish I can turn time.

If i knew this will happen, I'll think about my decision a trillion time. But i believe i wont change my decision.

I really don't know if its me, but as far as im concern, Ive tried my best to satisfy everybody. Ive tried to divide my time equally and its really hard.

Im the one who end up alone, without my bestfriend. I admit i don't show people my feelings. I admit I always run and separate myself from others. But its not because I'm scared. I don't need people sympathy. I learn to deal with my own problems. And thats me, i grew up learning how to be responsible for what i do and deal with my problems alone.

This feel so dejavu. Its like back to highschool. I had enough in highschool already. And i still remember how painful it was in highschool and how glad i am when i finish my highschool earlier than my batch. 

The mask i put on myself is going to tear apart really soon. I put on a smile all the time and it wear me out. Im not  pretending, but i don't know how to feel. I cant feel..

Yes I've become emotionless. I wonder how i can hold myself in front of people and how i break down so bad when I'm  alone.  

Maybe thats how i grew up. I learn to handle things alone because I've been all alone for all this while.  

                                                 Lisa Viour

Written with .......

Lots Of Love