Someone I know told me about him reading my blog and I was blown away. I have left this peaceful but never a happy place of mine for quite sometimes now. I have never been so scared to come back to a place I once love like this but I did. I cried uncontrollably when I click my page as this is the place i thought i never want to come back.
This is the place I come to when I am sad and lonely. I cried to my sleep reading things I wrote. I have never really write anything happy here and trust me I am trying really bad to do so. But unfortunately the only things that is in my mind right now is just very sad, dark, depressing thought.
To be honest, I am not even sure if I should writing again. My fingers are shaking as I am typing this but I need to do this. I am not very happy now days and I am not sure why. I mask happy as it is more acceptable in my current situation.
I am just going to be very honest with myself, I am currently listening to 'secret love song' and I cant stop thinking about my past. How I was just the other girl in someone else's relationship. A lot have happen since then and I honestly don't know where to start.
I have traveled up the mountain, down into the ocean, walk to the unknown, meet so many different people to the point I don't know if I am the same person anymore. I am not sure it you're suppose to stay the same after all the things you've been through.
All I want to do is just have a happy life. I want to be a happy person. I want to be a genuine person. I want to be a better person. Way better than I was before. I'm very sure I'm only about to turn 20 but I do feel way older. My experiences have brought me up way too early than my ages and there is nothing else that I could do about it.
I want to give this place a new colour, new vibes, new perspective and most importantly, I want to start loving this place again.
Lots of Love
Lisa Viour
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